A Bad Week

Jessica Lange fell at her Duluth area cabin and incurred some major damage. Natasha Richardson fell skiing and rumor has it, she may be braindead. I saw my life flash before my eyes on Monday when a young woman in a red sports car blasted through a four way stop at 40 miles per hour and I was starting to creep out into the intersection. I tried to follow her and have a little chat, but she eluded me. My coworker's father passed away last weekend as did the 54 year old brother of a very close friend. Another close friend's brother was involved in a car accident that killed the two young men in the other car. The whole country is outraged over the bonuses of the AIG execs, to the point that some of them are giving it back. I'm wondering how I'm going to be paying my mortgage in six months or whether I'll have a job. I can think of only one thing to do. Have a cocktail.

Norwegian Reality Show

So I have decided to apply to be on the Norwegian Reality show. My one quarter Norwegian qualifies me and I fit the age parameters. Ihave sent in the application and a photo and the next step is the video. I am dragging my feet, trying to figure out what they want and what will give me the best chance of being picked. Do I do something really outrageous and kooky or am I more subdued with a quick wit and a ready smile? And what about location? In my kitchen making fish tacos or out in the frozen tundra of a Minnesota winter? And believe me, it's a good one this year, with lots of snow and cold, a loser of a Minnesota Vikings team, the Timberwolves suck as do the Wild. And then Carl Pohlad has to up and die before he even gets to see the Twins play in the new stadium. So how do I make myself standout in a myriad of audition videos without making a complete ass of myself?

T-Mobile Sucks

Ordering a phone from your cell phone carrier shouldn't be this difficult. It has now been seventeen days and counting and still no phone. FOUR customer service reps assuring me that everthing has been taken care of, all using the same BS language they've been trained to use, my daughter in New York, without a phone, having it on backorder and not being told, cancel the order, then she can go to the t-mobile store and pick one up if I put her on my account as an authorized user, she goes to the store, she's not on the account, calls from the store's phone, while I'm on the line with t-mobile, oops, he didn't "save the authorization", tell them to refresh the screen and your'e good to go, oops, the phone isn't on backorder anymore, it has been shipped, it didn't REALLY get cancelled, although he ASSURED me it was, now you have to wait until it's delivered, oops, UPS can't deliver it, IT HAS THE WRONG NAME ON THE PACKAGE, oops, you'll have to send a letter to release the package to your daughter, NO, YOU FIX IT WITH UPS, OK, this is all very understandable, NO, it's not, I pity the person who gets my next call if she doesn't get this phone tomorrow. UPS has your daughter's phone number, so if there is a problem, they will call her. WHAT? SHE DOESN'T HAVE A PHONE!